1. |
Willow
01:53
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There’s a picture you paint in the words that you say.
This is getting unhealthy for me despite the fact that we both agreed.
To terms and conditions on a paper made of our emotions.
We’ve become driftwood washed away from dune to ocean.
And I say I can’t do this on my own,
but I push away everyone that I love.
I’m so sorry, please forgive me, I’m so stuck in the past,
I just want to change, I just want to make this last.
(Sway in the wind, Change leads to forgiveness)
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2. |
Cedar
04:36
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I specifically remember the time, end of July.
Driving down 95 in a car with all my best friends inside.
To my surprise, the day ended in two hospital beds-
And an overpriced ambulance ride.
I used to wake up early and see all the music videos on my T.V.
Every morning I was humming and sings songs like “Sugar We’re Going Down Swinging”.
Truth is life was better then, less overhead, but less cash to spend.
Truth is I just miss my old friends.
I can’t remember all the faces of the people I used to know.
Friends I called from back home.
I’m now blind where I once could see.
If they saw my face they wouldn’t recognize me.
Growing up seemed easier in the movies, sitting on my shelf they know their place.
They know what they are, what they’re meant to be. (Which is more than I can say for myself.)
Honestly I just miss my home, give more four walls, something to call my own.
Honestly I just don’t know where to go.
I can’t remember all the faces of the people I used to know.
Friends I called from back home.
I’m now blind where I once could see.
If they saw my face they wouldn’t recognize me.
There was a whole month when I rode the couch.
Watching Netflix, feeling sorry for myself.
There was a whole month when I didn’t go outside.
Wishing I could stay in this house, for the rest of my life.
I can’t remember all the faces of the people I used to know.
Friends I called from back home.
I’m now blind where I once could see.
If they saw my face they wouldn’t recognize me.
I don’t recognize the man in the mirror,
If I could see any clearer I’d still be blind.
A lot can happen in two years time.
And unfortunately I got left behind.
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3. |
Ash
03:20
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Dress for the weather, whether or not it’s best.
I’m on my way over, i’ve got some things to get off of my chest.
I’m finding comfort in the things I hate.
Man, I think I’m losing feeling, or maybe it’s just getting late.
Because I moved to Richmond, left you at home.
Though I know you’re changing, I just think I have more.
And as much as I love you, I can’t keep these appearances up.
I’m being left behind, my time here is gone.
Dress for the weather, whether or not it’s best.
I’m on my way over, i’ve got some things to get off of my chest.
I almost cried today on the phone with my dad.
I was so happy I was finally upset.
How fucked is that?
I didn’t shed a tear when you tried to kill yourself.
Or when Chloe said she was gonna leave.
I guess I don’t feel much these days.
I’m sorry
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4. |
Locust
03:42
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I want to be alone, but not feel alone.
And right now I’m too set on being angry to even think that this is home
I guess I just accept things, and don’t let them effect me.
And I’ve spent so much of this year just thinking about leaving
But I’d miss the hell out of Chloe and Reba, and all these other dork.
I’m crying as I write this, and I can’t seem to sleep this off.
I heard late last night that one of my old friends died.
Now my breaths are sharp, but I’m hoping they won’t last me through the night.
And I’m not giving up but I guess I’m going to die some time so I’ll make the most of it now.
I’m making peace with death, and it’ll be the only thing I’m okay with when time comes around.
But let’s hope it goes down how I plan, just exactly as I write it down.
With a parade of elephants or some shit that’s way too extravagant.
Maybe if I plan it out, make a promise that is how,
It won’t happen, at least not any time soon.
Cause I’d miss the hell out of Chloe and Reba and all my friends in Pennsylvania.
And everyone from Richmond, so it better happen.
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5. |
Birch
01:38
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Yeah it better not happen.
I’ve skipped class to work too many times for me to count.
I’ve skipped class to sleep and my bed calls me an old friend now.
Well something’s gotta change but I don’t want to make the first move;
I guess that I need something new.
A year ago now I was writing songs about how I thought I felt
It turns out delusions of insignificance can really fuck you up
But I’m alive and I’ve made it this far, even though I don’t know how
I am one of many, blend into the wood, don’t notice how much I’ve grown.
Autumn sun through changing leaves (No backbone, I sway in the wind)
I see things in them i need to see in me (I breath out what you breath in)
Rooted so deep so I can never leave (shedding bark, shedding skin)
Broken like the old tree, stump blocking the breeze (until I am comfortable again)
Photos in a window pane (Leaves of bronze)
Reminding me of where i came (autumn making them fall)
And I don’t know where I’m going. (now that everything but me is gone)
I guess I’ll just suffer through the days.
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6. |
Maple
02:17
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And I'm just interrogating myself and all the change I've felt over the past year.
I'll admit I'm self destructive now, I'll just take a step back and bow out.
And we’ll just say that I’ve changed, and I guess that’s just the way it is.
I’ll just listen for once maybe I’ll change for the better cause.
Everyone says, everyone says I don’t eat enough
Everyone says, everyone says I don’t sleep enough
Everyone says, everyone says that I think too much
Everyone says, everyone says, I just need to shut up.
And I’m wearing down my sanity; caring stress in my jaw,
This weight is too much I think, and I’m about to break.
And I’ll admit that I’m a bit too in my head
I just need to take a minute and sit.
Everyone says, everyone says I don’t eat enough
Everyone says, everyone says I don’t sleep enough
Everyone says, everyone says that I think too much
Everyone says, everyone says, I just need to shut up.
Because being alone and feeling alone are two different things
And I’ve felt so lost, it’s not like I’m not, but nostalgia is killing me.
I just need some relief.
I always forget how tired I get of people, even the ones I love.
So I fill be head with anything to keep myself from thinking too much.
I guess I’ll just suck it up, cut the loss, clear my head, drain my thoughts, I’m done.
My mind just changed one night, one drive from Virginia Beach changed me.
(I am red like the leaves, tap me out, and drain me)
(End the winter, welcome spring, drain me, drain me)
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7. |
Palm
02:55
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The other day I came home and kissed you awake
and today I woke up to a bed that was empty
The other day I teared up as you drove away
and today I feel the same.
I guess this is what leaving feels like
i guess this is really a goodbye
Two years in the making, and you’re the one who left.
could have sworn it’d be me, but i’m just…
(I’m just afraid you’ll never hear why i’m so sorry)
(I’m just afraid you’ll never know i’m so sorry)
I hope you figure out what you want
on a 20 hour plane ride across the world
I hope you find you belong on a beach like a palm
and are happy again.
The other day in my kitchen I told you I loved you
you said it back and you stayed
The other day you were smiling and laughing
now you’re just a fleeting smell in my pillowcase
I guess this is what leaving feels like
I guess this is really a goodbye
Two years in the making, and you’re the one who left.
Could have sworn it’d be me, but i’m just…
(I’m just afraid my bed still smells like you)
we drove four thousand miles last summer in my car
we drove four hundred a month, it never felt too far
but the the world is weighing and we’ve been tough.
but we know six days a month is not enough
May you always overcome doubt
May our fear not rule our lives
I’m just afraid my bed still smells like you
And that I won’t sleep tonight.
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8. |
Bradford Pear
01:56
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This little house on Calvary
Where I learned to walk
In the yard there stood a tree
Roots, leaves, trunk, and bark
Three times it stood proud.
Three times it fell to the ground
Three times it made a sound
That cut through the dark
Please take this stress out from my jaw
Tell me that I'm doing fine
And that I'm not a big of a wreck
That I see myself sometimes
Maybe this will be my year
Or perhaps it was the last?
Either way I'm just living day to day
Stuck in the past.
I miss my family
I miss that God damn tree
I am it and it was me
Before it fell
This place that I'm in now
Is not as friendly as it could be
Like that house on Calvary
That's missing its tree.
Please take this stress out from my jaw
Tell me that I'm doing fine
And that I'm not a big of a wreck
That I see myself sometimes
Maybe this will be my year
Or perhaps it was the last?
Either way I'm just living day to day
Stuck in the past.
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9. |
Oak
03:25
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The bags under my eyes are rings saying that I have aged
Two years have passed since I said that I don’t want to change
But now it’s for the sake of my sleep, when early days and late nights collide
I don’t know what I think when they fade together, if i’m asleep of awake.
My eyes seeing sepia; glazed over
My mind is so clouded. I’m so unlucky; one leaf clover.
I’ve felt the days pass taking years off of my life
Stress induced headache, wishing I was back in the little house like,
Things used to be, longing for the past, stagnated by apathy.
Hoping for this time here to get better, cause I’m not sure how much more I can survive
With
My eyes seeing sepia; glazed over
My mind is so clouded. I’m so unlucky; one leaf clover.
I’m looking for a sense of direction; a sense of meaning
I don’t know what else you want from me.
I don’t know what I want, and I don’t know how I feel.
Seasons lead to change, leaves fall, maybe this one will lead to me feeling okay.
While we struggle for meaning.
I am a standing tree, in a storm hear me crashing.
As strong as I am weak; I am an oak, I am spoiled rotten.
————————
Winter weather; a depressant. Is making everything run together.
And I’m just waiting for the spring, but rain is all it brings.
And when summer finally hits, Avon is the only thing that clicks.
Romanticized, never quite right, I’ll blame these feelings on the season’s change.
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10. |
Douglass Fir
04:15
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Now, summer weather hear me out, but you’re not the friend I need right now
Go away, please, and stay.
These winter months are much warmer to me than you could ever be.
Hoodies, tea, and family all sitting round the tree.
We moved in at night in the rain, 36 months have never felt the same.
As the last I just long for the past. And I’m not quite sure how I got to be this way.
Our third lease in three years is grinding down my teeth.
It’s wearing out my jaw ’til I can get some sleep.
Hey kid, who are you, what’s your name?
You look familiar to me, but that’s irrelevant because we’re all the same.
We all just miss someone, we all just miss that time.
Lately nostalgia has got the best of me, and now I just stay inside.
I turned 21 on a Thursday and just rode the couch with friends
I'd rather stay inside with them than fade my X’ed out hands.
May these lines stay black and bold, may they guide my weary feet.
Marching like a Kevlar drum, parading through the street.
Hey kid, who are you, what’s your name?
You look familiar to me, but that’s irrelevant because we’re all the same.
We all just miss someone, we all just miss that time.
Lately nostalgia has got the best of me, and now I just stay inside.
I miss my time in Montclair.
Carrying on about doing nothing all day long.
I hope they know that they are who made me strong.
I miss that summer at Sammy’s.
Watching Bones and talking about how we miss Danielle.
I miss her dad, and the stories he would tell.
I miss my family in Big Blue.
Friday nights that turned into long bus ride.
The best few years of my life.
But at least we have Avon.
Until the dunes succumb to the waves.
It’s bound to happen one of these days.
And I hope when they do, they take me away too.
Wash me away.
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Running Around Records Richmond, Virginia
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